It’s not as easy as I thought it would be. It really isn’t. I have been talking about this toy for over 5 years now. It took well over a year to get it made once we ‘officially’ started. For that entire year, my ‘Cricket Team’ of advisors and I have laughed during awkward moments and pushed a pretend cricket. I could not wait to get theCRICKETtoy® in and start to chirping. I would be chirping all the time once it came in.

     Or so I thought.

     As it turns out, I don’t always do a great job of self-promotion when I have the opportunity live. The irony is, it feels..um..awkward. Yes, I know:Push the little button and chirp. If it makes an awkward moment, PUSH THE BUTTON AGAIN because of the awkward moment you created. It’s genius really.

     Or so I thought.

     I’ve discovered that everyone else around me is great at pushing the button on theCRICKETtoy® and actually pushing the toy promotionally. Now that I finally have the toy in my possession and have invested a really insane amount of money into this little gadget, it feels like self-promotion and I get chirp-fright. I suppose it’s both a good thing and a bad thing. It’s bad because I do not take advantage of those opportunities. It’s good in that most cool, crazy gadgets and gizmos that become ‘Pet Rock’ type cultural phenomenons spread within a Tribe and not from the chief of another Tribe pushing them. Meaning, others who talk about theCRICKETtoy® instead of me have a 100 times more effectiveness in spreading the word than I do. In short, you listen to your friends more than advertisers and pushers.

     I do (obviously) need your help in spreading the word about theCRICKETtoy®. If you could just take a moment and tell someone else about it, the crazy inventor who dumped his life savings into awkward pauses, the odd Twitter posts and the awesome opportunities you just WISH you would have had theCRICKETtoy®, or the awesome opportunities you DID have theCRICKETtoy®, I would really appreciate it.

     In case it’s not clear, I ‘probably’ have some sort of A.D.D. issue. What was this post for?

     Chirp. Chirp.

     Oh yeah. This post is the beginning of discussing opportunities I’ve had to chirp but gotten chirp-fright.

     It’s February and I am on the way to Toy Fair in New York City. I have a booth and have invested $5000-6000 on this trip to find retailers who want to sell theCRICKETtoy® and get the word out about it.

     As I board the connecting flight to New York, there is a gentleman wanting something to drink. He is completely passive and totally non-threatening. His voice has a sort of surfer tone that ‘could’ be associated with being high or slightly drunk.

     The flight attendant comes back and tells him “I’m sorry sir, we’re going to have to ask you exit the plane.” He says “What? I’m being quiet. I’m just sitting here. I am not causing any problems. I won’t cause any problems.” He says all of this very quietly and not in an aggressive manner at all. Another attendant comes up (a male) and politely asks him to exit the plane. He freaks out a pretty good bit at this point (but still not in a mean way, just fairly panicked). At this point, his friend stands up and says “Are you serious? We have a meeting in 3 hours in New York. Please don’t take him off this plane.” His friend then says “If he’s has to get off the plane, I have to also!” They both get off the plane and you can tell they are freaking out pretty big time. It appears they have a big meeting they’re supposed to be at and they don’t have a clue what they’re going to do about it. As soon as they get out of the plane, it is dead quiet on the plane. Completely awkward. No one has any idea what to say. It is very tense. It’s quiet for a few moments.

     I’m holding theCRICKETtoy® in my hand, looking at it, and I don’t push the button. I totally got chirp-fright. It was absolutely the perfect opportunity and there would have been at least 50 people laughing their heads off, especially as I tell them the story of theCRICKETtoy®, 15,000 of them in the garage, a PT Cruiser that’s a bright lime green cricket, the videos and all that is connected to the brand. I guarantee there would have been a TON of laughter and I totally choked.

Absolute chirp-fright

     If ANY one of my friends would have been there (or anyone who’s purchased theCRICKETtoy®), they would have been diving for it to chirp. That’s what Calvin, theCRICKETtoy® is for…To Save the Pause!

     How about you? Do you ever have chirp-fright when it comes to self-promoting yourself?

     There are more of these moments in my past (NOT in my future though!). BUT..do you see why I need your help? Please…Please…Please…

     Chirp Away!

     Chirp. Chirp.

     In adversity, our true self shines through.

     Could that have been true any more than last night at the VMAs?

     Taylor Swift-Girl…you handled the awkward moment with grace and class. I can’t imagine the pressure of that night, with all of those emotions and then dealing with that junk from Kanye. Everybody that talks about you here in Nashville says really good things. Your reputation precedes you and your folks should be so proud of you. You won SOOO much more than an award last night!

     Beyonce-YES!!!!! You are such a classy lady!!! Thank you so much for stepping out of the moment and giving Taylor hers. The wisdom and respect that you showed truly is a glimpse into your character. One of my really good friends here in town, Jason Barton (lead singer now of 33 miles toured with you about 7 years ago. He was the lead singer of TruVibe. I remember seeing their first concert with you guys (drove 5 hours or so) and I was SO impressed with you that night. Jason talked so highly of you as being a classy lady (he also talked about roller skating with you guys on a day off?). I’ve been a huge fan since that night. Last night just catapulted you even higher in my book. You won SO BIG last night! Thank you…thank you…thank you for being the Most Classy Lady of 2009!

     Kanye- (you’re not reading this..I know..that’s fine) Think about what you actually did last night. An artist creates the best possible work they can and wins an award for it. You then choose to attempt to nullify her creation by pointing out someone else’s creation as the best of all time. You do realize art is subjective, right? To take away from someone’s moment because you believe another’s art to be better…I just don’t understand. I really don’t. That seems to go against your desire to create art and music. I understand free speech. I get that. This just wasn’t the time. It certainly wasn’t your time. In my opinion, I think your 15 minutes are up. I appreciate your abilities musically/production wise, but I’m done. I just wish you would have tried to grab the microphone from Ving Rhames or Toby Keith instead of the cute young lady.

     Free Speech? Sure.

     I think Free Speech should cost something today.

     Here’s my proposal:Go to iTunes (Target, Wal-Mart and your local music stores) and buy Taylor Swift’s records and Beyonce’s. Free speech right? In my opinion, I think Kanye West should have to pay for his Free Speech.

     just sayin’

     Taylor and Beyonce-Years from now, as your children watch these videos, they will see how beautiful and utterly classy you were. Last night was the perfect example to show your children in how to deal with adversity. You are both superstars!

     I know, there is still that possibility that this was staged. Maybe so. Who knows.

     Side note: If there EVER was a time that theCRICKETtoy® was needed, it was last night when Kanye handed the microphone back to Taylor Swift. Chirp. Chirp. There were crickets chirping all over the place. I really wish I had already mailed some of theCRICKETtoy® to Taylor and her band. I’ll do that now!

Go buy Taylor and Beyonce’s CDs now!